I salute you. I salute your courageous spirit. I once wrote ” There is goodness in pain. When it is given an opportunity to be all it is known to be, there is goodness in it – its goodness lies in it ending. And its ending is a mere choice…” You have chosen to end your pain, a brave and bold choice. You have chosen to use your voice to free yourself from mental and physical slavery; to break the chains that have held you from yourself for so long. You have chosen to heal the “wounded child within”. Yes it’s a going to be a process. Yes it’s not going to be easy but its gonna be worth every effort, every tear, every memory and humiliation.
I salute you for choosing to bleed publicly, choosing to be crucified so as to heal the wounded child within you. Your bravery will heal many. Your open wound and your pushing ahead despite your fear will ensure that many men and women start crawling towards healing wounds they’ve covered up so long, they’ve infected their lives.
They ask why you never spoke about it sooner?
They still haven’t spoken about their demons – their alcoholic fathers who abused their mothers and later turned to them. They still haven’t spoken about their spouses who sexually molest their children and force them to turn a blind eye just like their trying to do with you.
They say you’re a wild one – And so you should be.
You were violated, manipulated and forced to grow way before your time. Selfishly, only your body was instructed to do the growing. See, many will not understand why you kept quiet when your trust was broken, when your pride was shunned and your dignity trampled on. Many will question why you never spoke up when your voice was muted. When you were told ‘I have the police on my payroll’.
Some will ask why you kept going back; yet they keep going back to their abusers in the workplace day after day. They go back to their abusers at home and like you, they put up a happy front. But unlike you, they have no courage to do what you did – they are ruled by fear.
People are painful… They shout and scream when you take a firm and bold stand against the uncomfortable truths of life, yet tomorrow stand at your grave site and ask why did she not say anything?!
Don’t mind them baby girl, don’t let their cowardice discourage you. You were not given a spirit of fear but of a sound mind! You do not need approval to heal yourself and cleanse your soul – it don’t matter how long it took to get you to that place of “enough”!
You do not need approval to tell your truth your way; and you certainly do not need approval to choose you over the noise, the titles, the masses and all the bullshit!!
Dinkeng G. Mokhunoane